Diary September 2006

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Second shower lady

Because I shower more than I used to, we decided to hire a second shower lady. The showering itself is going well, but again, her patronising annoys me. Loud and simple sentences, using words like ‘sweetheart’ and ‘missy’. I despise it. I’m about her age, I just happen to be paralysed. Apparently it’s hard not to adopt that tone when you work with the elderly. Should it be, though? Would I warm up to the idea of being called ‘sweetheart’ in my 80s?

Sober

I haven’t drank any alcohol for almost nine years. I used to like to drink back in the day. Staying sober has been a piece of cake, most people I’m around don’t drink much either. I only get annoyed at other people’s alcohol consumption when I play bridge. Cards and booze don’t mix well, especially for new players. Usually, we won’t start playing until there is a bottle of some kind on the table. It doesn’t improve the game. Alcohol makes things that were already difficult much more challenging, be it the bidding order, colors and, oh yeah, what was the contract again? All the while I’m just sitting there, sober as a judge, practically hearing the gears in their heads grinding to a halt. I feel left out.

Left out

I’ve been to a few social gatherings this month, a birthday, a goodbye party and a friend’s tennis tournament. Granted, they do break the monotony, but I always find myself dreading them a bit. After all, I’m always a spectator, not being able to conversate and all. No fun for anyone. That’s why I usually don’t linger for too long. It takes courage to approach me. I always hope there’s someone who can understand me so Hein can have some fun of his own, but usually he has to step in and translate, which isn’t an easy task considering the usual noise at social events. I prefer it when my conversation partners have a lot to say, but I usually throw the towel in the ring when they start asking me questions. Praise to Alma, Fransje and the other friends who help me get through conversations.

Mucus

From time to time I suffer from excess phlegm when I’m eating. It’s usually not much and I don’t find it too difficult to cough it back up. Well, it does take an hour. I’m so envious of normal people’s ability to just clear their throats. I sometimes panic when there’s too much mucus for me to clear and I’ll spend the remainder of the day coughing, feeling hot, slumped in my chair. The other night I was playing bridge with some people who had never seen me in such a state. They were apprehensive and didn’t know what to do. They panicked a bit. I became completely oblivious to my surroundings and they played the game without me. It’s not fun when it happens, not for me nor for the people around me.

Student life

Floor has completely immersed herself in student life. She’s barely ever home. Last Sunday she was initiated into Unitas, a student union, with parents present. Hein went, while I stayed home. Now she has to pick a dispute and get to know her fellow members. She’s spent the past few weeks doing just that. Next weekend she would be going to an introductory event for her study association, but she decided against it. She was worn out. It made me think about my own time at university, how different things were back then. No hazings, no bullying pledges, no chest-thumping and no obligations. We were the flower power youth of the 70s, the time of democratisation and fighting against inequality. It’s unbelievable that our children are happily accepting the things we fought against back then. The other day I heard Floor talking on the phone, talking about a party, saying that Pledge Vos and Pledge What’s-his-face would be present too. Floor’s name is Pledge Kroft now. Bizarre. Fortunately, it’s not all bad. Some of the things they do are pretty hilarious. One time, Floor, alongside a group of other pledges, were shipped off to Texel without money on them, clad in odd costumes. They had fend for themselves for the night and they managed quite well. They found a place to sleep, above a discotheque. One time they were ordered to be in the swimming pool at 7 in the morning as punishment. After swimming for a bit under strict upperclassman supervision, they were told to tread water until the supervisors got back. While the upperclassmen snuck out, Floor and her group spent a long while treading water, waiting for them to get back. What a strange world she’s found herself in.

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