Diary January 2003


No idea

The kids moved their rooms to the attic. I haven’t been there in five years. I used to have some idea of what their rooms looked like, but now that they’ve moved, I’m completely in the dark. Pictures and video don’t do the atmosphere justice either. It’s like the Euro. I understand people are having trouble adjusting, but I’ve never used them. I don’t even know what the individual coins and bills look like.


Last week I watched a documentary about Diane Pretty, an Englishwoman with ALS who had to fight for the right to end her life. It did not raise my spirits. Her limp head and yammering voice are all too familiar. The only thing that wasn’t, was the pain. And it all looked distinctly destitute. Typically English. I don’t have a living will. Dying at a previously decided time sounds abhorrent to me. I’m counting on my doctor to give me morphine when my breathing fails. That’s something I need to talk to him about, actually. I’m hoping for a painless natural death.

Chipped tooth

Last week I chipped my front tooth while brushing my teeth. In its stead there’s a huge hole. It looks horrible, and it’s equally clunky when I’m trying to eat and drink. I use my front teeth for everything. I don’t know if it’s reparable. I can’t hold my mouth open for long and tilting my head back makes me nervous. In short, I can’t sit in a dentist’s chair. Hopefully there’s a quick and clean solution, because nothing spites a face more than missing a tooth. Some friends got me an appointment with a dentist who knows what ALS is and has experience operating on disabled people. It should be over and done with in 40 minutes. We’ll see.

Armed with a letter I’d written to the dentist, laying out my fears and considerations, we went on our way. He was such a nice man. He took photos and laid out his procedure. I was allowed to stay seated in my wheelchair. I had the operation the week afterward. I can show my face again. He had to improvise a bit, because the false tooth wouldn’t stick. He thinks it had something to do with saliva build up underneath the tooth, which isn’t great, structurally. He hopes it will stay put. I only bit his finger once. It resulted in him yelping and me laughing quietly. I think it has crossed everyone’s mind, biting the dentist while they’re rooting around in your mouth. I’d warned him about me involuntary biting reflexes. I do have to get used to my new tooth. At least my sandwiches don’t slip between my teeth anymore, and I look great.


I’ve had a few wonderful snowy winter walks. Everything looks so different. Besides that, I’ve been sitting in the sun, in front of the window.

Theatre season ticket

Theatre season was off to a bit of a slow start this year, but this month we went to see three shows. They were all good, although I did fall asleep during one of them.

Spa day

We had a spa day. It was Floor’s brainchild. We treated ourselves to a footbath, moisturizer and face masks while we enjoyed a few episodes of Friends. I enjoyed it immensely. That’s my girl!

Secondary school search

Ward got his expected grades and has been looking at different secondary schools. Four Saturdays of trial lessons, instead of football. We’re not playing a huge part in it. We had seen most of them already from Floor’s secondary school search. We’ll be going to an info day on Thursday at Ward’s favourite school thus far. He’ll be taking his exams next week. Let’s wait for the result first.

A good start

And I have been busy writing Ward’s end-of-year musical. This weekend I felt especially creative and wrote 5 scenes.