Category: Diary

Dreaming

One would think that my dreams would have caught on to the fact that I have ALS. The truth is the complete opposite. In my dreams, I ski, hike up and down mountains, go to work (knowing I’m ill, but apparently I’ve recovered in those dreams) and generally act like a normal person. In some dreams I’m unable to talk, although eating is never a problem. Dream-me likes thick chips with mayonnaise. People are strange like that. I often have lucid dreams, where I know I’m dreaming but I don’t wake up. Sometimes, when I’m sleeping in my chair downstairs, I dream of standing on the edge of a ravine. After that, I’ll jolt awake and feverishly check my surroundings to confirm that I’m, indeed, just in a chair in my living room. I’ve heard so many other people with ALS talk about how their dreams adjusted to their condition. I guess I just haven’t caught up yet. Continue reading “Diary December 2006”

Meet and greet

We (my help Marjanne and I) had just paid for our groceries when a strange woman came up to us. It turned out that she reads my diary and caught me on one of my sweets shopping sprees. I was taken aback and asked her if we’d ever met before. We hadn’t. She introduced herself and told me she’d been an avid reader of my website for a long time. By now, I’ve forgotten what her name was, but I’d know her face anywhere. She told me she’d say hi the next time she saw me. This chance encounter made me feel so special. If, at any point, you see me in a supermarket, don’t hesitate to say hi! Continue reading “Diary January 2007”

Summer holiday

It’s finally booked! Destination: Germany, more accurately the lakes region north of Berlin. We have a traveller’s guide to Germany with more than 200 pages of wheelchair-accessible holiday destinations. Kudos to the Germans for being so forward-thinking. Sadly, a large number of the suitable destinations were tiny holiday homes or cramped hotel suites. Eventually, we found two suitable bungalow parks. As always, the kids are coming with us. The brochure advertised a lot of water (meaning a lot of mosquitos). We’re hoping that the surrounding villages will be interesting and cultural. Berlin is closeby, too. Continue reading “Diary February 2007”

81

On Saturday, March 3rd, my mother turned 81. Last year the was in a much worse place because she couldn’t get used to living in a retirement home. By now, she’s had home care for 6 months. So far she’s found a balance, though it’s still a bit shaky. Indoors, she uses a walker, which she often forgets when she needs to get somewhere in a hurry, like opening the door. She’s pessimistic about her situation, but she’s doing a lot better than she was last year. She’s talking again and got some of her pep back. She has become very hard of hearing, which is alienating in its own right, so she feels a bit isolated. Everytime one of us calls her, the rest of the room can follow the entire conversation too. “This is Hein speaking.” “Who?” “Hein. HEIN.” Every now and then, she makes us laugh when she says something archaic. Today, after we rang her doorbell, she greeted us with a: “Come in, and leave your hats at the door.” Continue reading “Diary March 2007”

Easter without the kids

There are some people who would enjoy a “long weekend without the kids”. Those people are not us. While they probably envision a fun weekend of hiking, cycling, going to see a movie, going out for dinner and generally having a great time, all we have to look forward to is a weekend of hard work. I have to eat, drink, use the bathroom and get put in/taken out of bed. Usually, the kids help to lighten Hein’s workload, but this Easter it was all on Hein. Luckily, Marjanne was there to help us with dinner. I don’t want it to sound like we didn’t do anything, we played bridge, celebrated easter with company and even went to the Garden of Europe on Easter Monday. And, of course, we went to collect Ward from the airport. Continue reading “Diary April 2007”

I didn’t write anything this month. Sometimes, I just can’t get myself to put anything on paper, usually because not enough happened. I spend most of my days lazing around, something I’ve gotten a lot better at over the years. I don’t read much, either. I don’t look forward to holidays and days off, but they usually turn out alright in the end. It’s been nine years since I was diagnosed with and ten years since I got ALS. Sometimes, I think to myself “that’s probably enough”, though I know I’m not supposed to. All it takes is one good idea, like Monieke’s fundraiser, and the thought is banished from my mind again. Planning is my favourite pastime. I have to be careful not to be too controlling. Sadly, Monieke is taking some time off right now, so the project is on a hiatus for now. Continue reading “Diary May 2007”

Domestic help

We’ve had our fair share of domestic helps over the years, from all walks of life. The oldies, the kids who just got out of secondary school and, of course, the huge amounts of students, who were usually bad at communication, cleaning or both. I like to have something to talk about over coffee and biscuits. I’m so fortunate to have my standard domestic helps, but their replacements leave much to be desired. We used to be eligible for a personal domestic budget, but since July 1st, we’ve had to chip in to pay our helps. Continue reading “Diary October 2007”