One wheelchair, one comfortable chair, one commode, one shower seat, one patient lift and one motorised rubber boat. We\u2019re taking three cars, two of which are vans. The only thing that absolutely has to be handicap-accessible is my bed, which it isn\u2019t, it\u2019s too low. Besides not having any doorsteps, the cottage was not built with the handicapped in mind. It\u2019s a good thing we can take most of the things I need with us in the van and there\u2019s plenty of space in the cottage. Although, for privacy reasons, our fellow travellers did need to evacuate the cottage whenever I had to use the bathroom, but they did so without any fuss. It became a routine. Hein\u2019s cousin Adriaan drove the van back to Leiden to collect the last few amenities I needed. I couldn\u2019t thank him enough, my hero. <\/p>\n
Everyone brought their kids, something I\u2019m thankful for. The more, the merrier. There were eight of us, nine one the last day, in a cottage made for six. That\u2019s why we brought a tent. We\u2019d told the kids beforehand to plan their own activities, but when we actually got there, no plans had been made yet. Every day, the answer to the question \u201cwhat should we do today\u201d was \u201cshopping in Berlin!\u201d I bloody hate shopping. To me, shopping means waiting outside or being wheeled around with nobody to talk to because they\u2019re all walking behind me. It makes me grumpy and panicky, especially when it\u2019s hot outside. In Berlin, we spent a large part of the day in a cafe, while the ones among us who wanted to go shopping went into town. Everytime we wanted to leave, another one of us dipped out, meaning we had to wait at the cafe for hours. It wasn\u2019t all bad. We visited Ravensbr\u00fcck Concentration Camp, which was impactful. We had long walks through Berlin, Schwerin and a few smaller towns. We canoed, read books and played lots of games. <\/p>\n
It happened during the second week of the summer holidays. It was a Tuesday. A bit of egg salad had gone down the wrong pipe and I\u2019d been coughing all afternoon. I thought a car ride would do me some good and maybe dislodge the salad. Wrong. On our way back from grocery shopping, we hit a bump and some mucus got stuck in my throat. I was fighting for air and asked Hein to pull over. Usually, standing upright helps get the phlegm down, but it didn\u2019t this time. I remember trying the \u201cstanding up\u201d technique twice, but after that, there\u2019s nothing.<\/p>\n
When I regained consciousness, the whole family was standing around me looking freaked out as a paramedic applied an IV. At that moment, the second ambulance arrived, as well as another doctor. Apparently I\u2019d been unconscious for 15 to 20 minutes, purple-faced and eyes rolling. I was surprised and still can\u2019t quite wrap my head around it. I just let them take care of me, except I fiercely resisted their attempts to check me into hospital. My blood pressure was incredibly high, 240\/160, but it was decreasing steadily. <\/p>\n
I spent the rest of the night feeling awestruck, I still couldn\u2019t believe it. My family was still freaking out. Only the next day did I properly realise the truth: that could\u2019ve been it for me. All of the certainty I had was gone. We spent the rest of the holiday doing as little as possible. I had a blind spot in my field of vision which made reading impossible. Fortunately, it\u2019s passed by now, after two weeks. I would\u2019ve been distraught if I lost the ability to read. Other than that, I have an infected gland but the antibiotics should take care of that. Something I can\u2019t get back is my feeling of certainty. Some nights, I wake up in a cold sweat because I feel like I can\u2019t swallow anymore, but it\u2019s happening less and less. <\/p>\n
We had a serious talk with the kids, and I think it went well. Hein explained to them that I don\u2019t want artificial respiration. If there are any further incidents like this one, I don\u2019t want anyone to intervene, no more medical interventions. Those close to me have a right to know too. I\u2019m glad it\u2019s out there now. <\/p>\n
Marjan was already waiting for us with a good meal when we got back from holiday. We\u2019d called ahead and given her a shopping list. It took me the whole weekend to get used to being home again. It was Floor\u2019s birthday on Monday and we had a lot of guests. Tuesday was the first normal day I\u2019ve had in awhile. I felt more certain and relaxed again. It\u2019s a bit embarrassing to admit this, but I like a quiet life, a regular one with as few surprises as possible. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
My packing list One wheelchair, one comfortable chair, one commode, one shower seat, one patient lift and one motorised rubber boat. We\u2019re taking three cars, two of which are vans. The only thing that absolutely has to be handicap-accessible is my bed, which it isn\u2019t, it\u2019s too low. Besides not having any doorsteps, the cottage … <\/p>\n