On Saturday, March 3rd, my mother turned 81. Last year the was in a much worse place because she couldn\u2019t get used to living in a retirement home. By now, she\u2019s had home care for 6 months. So far she\u2019s found a balance, though it\u2019s still a bit shaky. Indoors, she uses a walker, which she often forgets when she needs to get somewhere in a hurry, like opening the door. She\u2019s pessimistic about her situation, but she\u2019s doing a lot better than she was last year. She\u2019s talking again and got some of her pep back. She has become very hard of hearing, which is alienating in its own right, so she feels a bit isolated. Everytime one of us calls her, the rest of the room can follow the entire conversation too. \u201cThis is Hein speaking.\u201d \u201cWho?\u201d \u201cHein. HEIN.\u201d Every now and then, she makes us laugh when she says something archaic. Today, after we rang her doorbell, she greeted us with a: \u201cCome in, and leave your hats at the door.\u201d <\/p>\n
I\u2019ve always had a self-imposed rule about posting things to the internet immediately after writing them. I always need some time to think it over before I publish it. Last week, I broke that rule when I posted \u201cHelpers\u201d. Everything I wrote was truthful, but it wasn\u2019t the whole story and it made me look like I see my children as nothing more than instruments. My kids are much more to me than that. They are the ones who keep things interesting when Hein and I decide to stay home. Our newest running joke is, whenever Ward says \u201cI love you\u201d (in Dutch) to Hein, Hein responds with an \u201cI love you\u201d (English in a terrible Dutch accent). All I can do is blink at him as lovingly as I can. Floor did the same last year, but that joke got old fast. I hope this one lasts a little longer.<\/p>\n
I\u2019ve slept with a clock close to my face for the past few nights, because I never knew what time it was when I woke up, which is annoying when you wake up multiple times a night. I never quite know how much sleep I have left. I used to base it on the church bells, but those have gone silent lately. Maybe it\u2019s because we don\u2019t open our windows wide enough. Because of the seasons, the light isn\u2019t such a great way to tell the time either. I always wake Hein up too early, so I hope this clock can fix that.<\/p>\n
Last weekend, Floor and Hein went on a skiing holiday for four nights, departing by bus. I wasn\u2019t looking forward to it at all. I would have to spend four nights sleeping in my chair. These days, my neck hurts even when I\u2019ve slept in my down bed, imagine what sleeping in a chair would do to me. I didn\u2019t wake up to readjust my head on the first two nights, so my neck ached a lot. The two following nights were better. I felt rested and did a lot during that weekend. My sister-in-law Lieke filled in for Hein and did splendidly. I was worried about the showering part, but that went swimmingly too. On Monday, Hein and Floor were back home, tanned from their three days of skiing. By then, the house had been repainted and the leakages had been fixed so Hein could start refurbishing the rooms immediately. Next time, we\u2019ll try putting a bed downstairs. <\/p>\n
My ability to stand has only gotten worse, if one of my knees as much as bends a little bit, I tumble down. It goes well when I\u2019m able to keep my legs straight. Hein doesn\u2019t use the lift when he\u2019s helping me use the toilet. To get my trousers down he often kneels down, taking me with him. It\u2019s a challenge to keep me on my feet. Even when we do use the lift, it\u2019s hard. I\u2019m trying to find a better way to handle the lift. Brenda, who came back from Canada feeling refreshed, had a brilliant idea. Whenever I\u2019m seated on the toilet, I should rest my arms on the lift straps. That prevents me from falling over backwards and keeps my on my feet. It was a great success when my other carers tried it too. I\u2019m saved, at least for a little while. <\/p>\n
I turned 52 on March 31st. We didn\u2019t have much time to celebrate, because Floor was supposed to leave for Mexico at 8 in the morning. That\u2019s why, the evening prior, we had dinner with the family. I had to eat my own food before we actually had dinner. Marianne came by at 16:30, meaning we entertained guests from 1 till 16:30. Despite the abrupt cutoff, we had a lovely time.<\/p>\n
I wasn\u2019t overly pleased when Floor told us she\u2019d like to visit Mexico. As long as I don\u2019t respond, I thought, it\u2019ll just blow over. It didn\u2019t. It\u2019s a pretty logical desire for someone whose best friend is spending a semester studying in Mexico. I\u2019m such a worrywort I actually emailed Floor\u2019s friend\u2019s parents, who had been to Mexico in the past two months. They were able to put my fears to bed. A week before Floor left, they came over to talk to us about the trip. I\u2019m satisfied, but her grandmother is still losing sleep over it. <\/p>\n
I\u2019m lacking as a mother. I didn\u2019t bother telling her what to pack, although I did remind her to finish an essay she was supposed to hand in before she left. Floor is used to packing her own bags, she\u2019s been doing it for eight years now. The thing I really don\u2019t like is how we couldn\u2019t bring her to the airport ourselves. It\u2019s impossible for me to get up in the middle of the night to drive to Schiphol Airport, so Roel dropped her off. By now, we\u2019ve called each other a few times and everything is alright thus far.<\/p>\n
Tonight, Ward will be heading to Barcelona with his football team. He packed his own stuff too and went to meet with his team without us. But on Monday, we\u2019ll be waiting for him at the airport, and the same goes for the Monday after that. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
81 On Saturday, March 3rd, my mother turned 81. Last year the was in a much worse place because she couldn\u2019t get used to living in a retirement home. By now, she\u2019s had home care for 6 months. So far she\u2019s found a balance, though it\u2019s still a bit shaky. Indoors, she uses a walker, … <\/p>\n