I\u2019ve been noticing it, but it\u2019s not something to shout off the rooftops. It\u2019s something not to draw too much attention too. I can\u2019t always ignore it, though, and when I do it does make me unhappy. <\/p>\n
February 1999
\nI\u2019ve noticed that I never write about my physical condition. Peculiar. It\u2019s not like it doesn\u2019t matter. After Christmas I started feeling unsafe at home. My ability to walk has taken a dip, my balance in particular has gone downhill. I walk to the tea parlour with splints. My arms have declined too. I\u2019m having trouble lifting things, even so much as a spoon when I\u2019m eating soup. Typing and drinking tea out of a cup have also become tiring. Speech was trying for me in December, but has improved since then. I\u2019m still eating normally, except for raw endive. I have started chewing slower and more deliberately. Being alone at home isn\u2019t that bad. Using the bathroom isn\u2019t a huge problem. Wiping is actually a bit difficult, but I manage. Same goes for hiking up my trousers. I can\u2019t wash my hair and lower body while showering. Hein helps me dry off and get dressed. For the most part I can get dressed myself. I\u2019ve ordered a speech box and a smaller keyboard. I\u2019ve also been training with my typing aid.
\nI don\u2019t write a lot about sadness. My crying fits mainly occur when I think about the future. About not being intelligible when speaking and more recently how tired my arms get. One of the worst ones is when my family leaves to go to a theatre play or something like that, and I\u2019m stuck at home alone. Oh, how I cry and pity myself. However, I don\u2019t allow myself to get upset for too long. <\/p>\n
March 1999
\nMy lungs got tested, their capacity has decreased by 25%. By now there\u2019s always someone home. Everything is harder. Drinking from a straw, hiking up my trousers, eating without spilling food everywhere, shifting in my chair, standing up, typing, etc. I\u2019m still doing fine, though. I got a nice email from Steven Shackel, the Australian. He\u2019s doing great and is doing a lot better recently. Mentality is paramount. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I\u2019ve been noticing it, but it\u2019s not something to shout off the rooftops. It\u2019s something not to draw too much attention too. I can\u2019t always ignore it, though, and when I do it does make me unhappy.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[82,83],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1258","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-diary","category-prelude"],"yoast_head":"\n